I decided to entertain/ torture myself this weekend. My boyfriend had to work all weekend so that left me with quite a bit of time on my hands. (Say what you will about co-dependence, it's more that we just hate so many people we'd rather hang out and be retarded together, so shut up.)
My mom suggested that I rent CALIFORNICATION Season 1.
Excellent, Amazing and A+. I wasn't even a Duchovny fan until this weekend.
Also, Mazzy Lamb's twin is in this season so that made it worth my while. However, Mazzy is still cuter. 45 seconds into it is the best part so start at.
I also rented " I Know Who Killed Me". I have been wanting to watch this piece of shit for like 6 months but Gavin kept turning it down. Understandable. Now, although I am truly a Lohan fan I knew this thing had won about a thousand Razzies and needed to see what all the fuss was about. The critics were correct. It made no sense, was completely incoherent and made me laugh when I wasn't supposed to. I skipped the special feature of the "extended strip scene" but from the bit I did see, Lohan may have missed her true calling. I am not hating. She's good. But she needs more pole tricks. My favorite scene is when, after she has become a double amputee, she has a graphic, wild, explicit sex scene! It was amazing!!! (Although not as amazing as that first scene in Basic Instinct 2- If you haven't seen then you MUST rent.)
Remember, at this point she is missing half her arm and one of her legs from the knee down. She's still got it though! I love how she smokes afterwards with her "good" hand. HOT!
Also, Mazzy Lamb's twin is in this season so that made it worth my while. However, Mazzy is still cuter. 45 seconds into it is the best part so start at.
I also rented " I Know Who Killed Me". I have been wanting to watch this piece of shit for like 6 months but Gavin kept turning it down. Understandable. Now, although I am truly a Lohan fan I knew this thing had won about a thousand Razzies and needed to see what all the fuss was about. The critics were correct. It made no sense, was completely incoherent and made me laugh when I wasn't supposed to. I skipped the special feature of the "extended strip scene" but from the bit I did see, Lohan may have missed her true calling. I am not hating. She's good. But she needs more pole tricks. My favorite scene is when, after she has become a double amputee, she has a graphic, wild, explicit sex scene! It was amazing!!! (Although not as amazing as that first scene in Basic Instinct 2- If you haven't seen then you MUST rent.)
Remember, at this point she is missing half her arm and one of her legs from the knee down. She's still got it though! I love how she smokes afterwards with her "good" hand. HOT!
There was also some weird scene where a possum is sitting in a kid's toy car , screeching...hmmm. I was lost by then already so it was okay.
I did not stop there. I also rented "Blonde and Blonder" starring Pamela Anderson and Denise Richards. I was okay with the fact that Pamela Anderson cannot act because basically she was just supposed to play herself I guess as a dumb ho who wants to learn to fly. Denise put on a bit of a better performance, like I could tell she was at least TRYING to act. However, all I could think about was Sheen's "tranny infested sperm" and how he took like a chainsaw to their wedding photo. To tell you the truth I could only handle 10 minutes of this turd. So I can't really give any kind of review. It was ass. I didn't even get to this scene but it looked bad so I included it for you.
I continued to assault my brain/ eyes with BLONDE AMBITION. But you know what? It wasn't THAT bad. It was "watchable". Pizza, tequila and B-Relaxed Vitamin water helped...but still. not terrible. There seemed to be a lot of "favor" cameo's including that one guy from JACKASS with the nasty beard but whatever. Oh and Rachael Leigh Cook. What the eff happened to her??? Blonde Ambition, apparently.
I did not stop there. I also rented "Blonde and Blonder" starring Pamela Anderson and Denise Richards. I was okay with the fact that Pamela Anderson cannot act because basically she was just supposed to play herself I guess as a dumb ho who wants to learn to fly. Denise put on a bit of a better performance, like I could tell she was at least TRYING to act. However, all I could think about was Sheen's "tranny infested sperm" and how he took like a chainsaw to their wedding photo. To tell you the truth I could only handle 10 minutes of this turd. So I can't really give any kind of review. It was ass. I didn't even get to this scene but it looked bad so I included it for you.
I continued to assault my brain/ eyes with BLONDE AMBITION. But you know what? It wasn't THAT bad. It was "watchable". Pizza, tequila and B-Relaxed Vitamin water helped...but still. not terrible. There seemed to be a lot of "favor" cameo's including that one guy from JACKASS with the nasty beard but whatever. Oh and Rachael Leigh Cook. What the eff happened to her??? Blonde Ambition, apparently.
Instead of a clip from BLONDE AMBITION, tomorrow I will upload a video which shows how Mazzy felt about being subjected to watch this mess.
I also watched JESUS CAMP which made me totally uncomfortable and awkward. I went to a few different Christian school's and a ton of Jesus Camp's myself so it was like "Oh yeah, I totally know these kind." I did enjoy when the main camp lady/ children's God Warrior leader screamed at the children that if Harry Potter had been alive in Palestine or something "he would have been put to DEATH!!!!" and that "Warlock's are the enemy of GOD!!!!! No matter what kind of a hero they say he is!!!!!" Then some kid screams "AMEN!"
A bunch of the kids cried, spoke in tongues and convulsed on the floor and I found it a bit distasteful to make the children have such mental breakdowns about Jesus. They must think Jesus is a Goddamn KillJOY! Oh, as was the man who came to their camp to talk to them about abortion and showed them little plastic "fetuses" and how they have faces or something and how they were the only generation to stop abortion. Um, kind of heavy when you're like 7 yrs old. They cried some more for all the babies who were dead because they had been aborted and couldn't be at JESUS CAMP with them. Uncomfortable. Let's talk about that in a few years, shall we? Whatever happened to "Our God is an Awesome God, He Reigns from heaven Above with wisdom, power and Love. Our God is an Awesome GOD!" and singing it in rounds and only worrying about your salvation on the very last campfire night of Jesus Camp??? We were such babies then!
Here's the "Abortion Guy". Oh and Levi is hot and needs to get out of that camp!!!
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