I was sitting on the bus on my way home from work last night minding my own business (something I don't do too often; the 'minding my own business part'. Usually I'm minding everyone else's and silently judging them.)
There's this guy who is just kind of weird in general sitting kitty corner from me. As soon as this very large, hard looking (you can always see the hard drugs and alcohol in the way it wears on the face, you know?) woman and a little African American (I feel too nervous to say "black" if you want to know the truth...) girl, maybe 4 or 5, get on the bus.
Immediately the weird guy lights up. Oh, I KNEW it. Child Molester!
Molester to the Rough Woman: "Is that your cute daughter?" (Let me just say here that I knew he was full of shit right off the bat because, to be honest, the child was very annoying and not-cute at all and had a 'stache that needed to be taken care of immediately. I don't understand why, if your child has an abnormal situation like a "child 'stache", parents/ care takers are so uncomfortable with approaching the subject. Wouldn't they rather wax the child than subject her to YEARS of school yard taunts? I don't get it. You are traumatizing the child if you DON'T fix that shit!!!)
Rough Woman: "No, she's my granddaughter."
Child Molester: "You have a sparkly belt!" (Motherfucker! Obvious Child Molester compliment. I mean, do I HAVE to explain further? Please. Why not, "I like your shoes!" Yeah, we know why.)
Rough Woman chimes in with her epic tragedy:"Yeah, no, she's my granddaughter but I take care of her because her mom has 3 other kids. Younger. Uh, 3, 2 and a coupla months. So I'm the only one who can take her to preschool. I thought she'd be able to take her by now (Jesus! Just tell the child you hate her why don't you!) but then she went and had another baby so... But now she finally got herself on birth control so a round of applause for that!"
Molester to the Rough Woman: "Is that your cute daughter?" (Let me just say here that I knew he was full of shit right off the bat because, to be honest, the child was very annoying and not-cute at all and had a 'stache that needed to be taken care of immediately. I don't understand why, if your child has an abnormal situation like a "child 'stache", parents/ care takers are so uncomfortable with approaching the subject. Wouldn't they rather wax the child than subject her to YEARS of school yard taunts? I don't get it. You are traumatizing the child if you DON'T fix that shit!!!)
Rough Woman: "No, she's my granddaughter."
Child Molester: "You have a sparkly belt!" (Motherfucker! Obvious Child Molester compliment. I mean, do I HAVE to explain further? Please. Why not, "I like your shoes!" Yeah, we know why.)
Rough Woman chimes in with her epic tragedy:"Yeah, no, she's my granddaughter but I take care of her because her mom has 3 other kids. Younger. Uh, 3, 2 and a coupla months. So I'm the only one who can take her to preschool. I thought she'd be able to take her by now (Jesus! Just tell the child you hate her why don't you!) but then she went and had another baby so... But now she finally got herself on birth control so a round of applause for that!"
Jesus! Who the Hell shares this kind of info with a bunch of strangers on a bus. "Hello! My daughter is a big ol' ho bag!"
Too bad for the Child Molester, the next stop was his.
He exited the bus sadly with nothing more with which to drum up further conversation with the Rough Woman and her annoying, unfortunate granddaughter. He has missed his chance to pilfer through the numerous, poorly supervised children of needy dysfunctional women.
I watch a lot of msnbc's predator.
I know how this shit works.
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