This Woman Has Had Three Children!

This photo makes me feel really bad about myself but its so amazing that I am going to post it anyways. I cannot believe that Shauna Sand has had 3 kids. Well, I did see the photos of her Frankennipples and her hanging cooter but still! Good for you Shauna Sand! And she has GOT to be perched on the front of her lucite heels...how is she not sinking??? Skillz.

Gavin "Quotes of the Weekend!"

Quote #1-- "I see fruit flies fucking all the time!"

Quote #2-- "It's an AWEsome thing to do!" -regarding getting drunk

Quote #3-- "You look like a pirate maid."

"What?? I look like a slut???"

" No! No, you're like the chick that gets the pirates their shots and stuff but then if

they get out of line you let them have it."

TEETH

I watched this movie last night. It was awesome and lead to one of the very rare arguments that I have with my boyfriend.

All the hottest bitch charachters are named "Dawn"! Dawn O'Keefe, Dawn Weiner (congrats on the lesbian engagement!)...

Little Darlings...

This movie is totally in my top 5. It's beyond racy for 1980, stars Tatum O'neal, Matt Dillon, Kristy McNichols, Cynthia Nixon and who knows who the Hell else that became a super star. I am begging the guy I work for to try and get this remade. How hot would Ali Lohan be as Kristy's character or Tatum's?? And shit, bring Tatum back for a cameo. She is the definition of a hot bitch in this film. The great Santorini (the sluttiest one at camp) even had an eye shadow named after her by Nars! The movie is about these sluts trying to lose their virginity at camp. HOT! Great goals! I love it. They make the fat one get the condoms at the gas station after they've stolen the camp bus. These bitches are on fire! How adorable is Matt Dillon way back when???

This Household Sounds Awesome!!!

Wait, I'm totally confused by people's "shocked" reaction to the Jolie- Pitt Household. It sounds like the household of my dreams and the household of my child hood!!! It's good times and total chaos all the time!

It's like this one time my mom made some tuna casserole thing for dinner and it tasted like straight up shit! (I think she put in wayyyyyy too much salt or something.) So she looked at us and said, "Okay, cake for dinner tonight". She had also baked some amazing cake and that's what we got instead.

And who the Hell cares when or how kids take baths? At least they get them in the tub!! This fake ass "nanny" needs to rethink her career path. Maybe the Library is hiring mean bitches. I was a nanny for 7 years for this one family and my agenda/ daily planner sounds right on key with the Jolie-Pitt Calendar.

THE CLAIMS:

The kids eat pizza and chocolate for breakfast

The kids have regular screaming matches

The kids have regular dart-gun wars

The kids all speak in different languages

The kids will all be in the delivery room when Angie gives birth

The kids take baths late at night and get water everywhere

Brad and Angie like to skinny dip at 2am

THE VERDICT:

Fucking Awesome

I mean, this is coming from the same person who lets my dog chew water bottle caps and eat popsicle sticks but I keep an eye on him and he LIKES it!

Stairway To Stardom

Um, so by looking at the videos related to the one below of the talented dancer who's mom "tells her what to do", I came across what was a hit cable access show in 1983. "STAIRWAY TO STARDOM". You can watch a shit ton of videos on YouTube and I suggest it if your ears and eyes can handle it.

Awesome Person of the Day

Shia LeBeouf!!

Check out this awesome interview Shia just did for GQ Magazine!

“So what parts of your life are you keeping to yourself?” I ask, playing along. “Usually you seem so, you know, uncensored.” He thinks for a minute and then looks up with a eureka! grin.
“I used to sh*t on myself until I was 12 years old. I didn’t stop until I got a job.”
“Are you serious?”
“I promise you. We could call my mother right now. You got your cell phone?” LaBeouf puts her on speaker:
“Hello, Ma?”
“Yes, honey?”
“Hey, Ma, you’ll never believe what I’m talking about right now.”
“Where are you at?”
“Well, I’m at the range, but I’m talking to Kevin, and we were deciding how to be the most uncensored. Like, what’s the one thing I never told nobody? And I was telling him how I used to sh*t on myself. You remember that, Ma?”
“You shared that secret, huh?”
“Tell him what I did with the boxers, Ma.”
“Well, I don’t know. The times you did it, Shia, you thought you were going to get away with it. But you’d always get busted. The boxers would fall down on my head from the towel rack, or I’d find them under the bed.”
“Ma, Ma, tell him about the karate class at the YMCA.”
“Oh yeah. Karate class was very sweet, because you were all strong in your karate suit, and then all of a sudden a little brown ball would fall out of your clothes on the floor.”
“Ma, Ma, you remember when I was doing those kicking exercises in the gi [karate uniform]? You remember what happened with the kick that I did? My last kick in karate class?”
“What? The piece that flew?”
“Yeah, the piece that flew and hit the wall. Remember that piece?”
“You guys have a good day.”
“I love you. Bye, Ma.”

Via These Boots Were Made For Stalking: http://thesebootsaremadeforstalking.com/?p=6295

Song of the Day

SIMPLE MINDS, "Don't You Forget About Me"

I Can't Wait For...

MGM's "HOT TUB"

Logline: 'Hot Tub' follows a group of guys who used to be cads back in their heyday and who, after a night of vodkas and Red Bulls in a hot tub, travel back in time to rediscover their 'mojo'.

"We're always looking for ways to stand out from the rest of the pack in today's crowded marketplace, and what better way than to combine hot tub debauchery and the complications of time travel." -MGM executive vp production, Cale Boyter

Trend of the Day

"Crafing"

No, not 'craping'

Definition: Crying and laughing at the same time.

I was just emailing someone and the subject of 'crafing' came up. As in, "My favorite 30Rock episode so far has got to be SANDWICH DAY! I was totally crafing!! haha!"

Do what you will with this information.

Awesome Person of the Day/ (Hot Slut of the Day via Dlisted)

Judge Elizabeth Halverson - Judge Elizabeth has been banned from a Las Vegas courthouse, because she's been accused of treating her bailiff and other staffers like personal slaves. For example, she regularly made her bailiff put her shoes on her feet, massage her back, cover her with blankets for a nap and make sure her oxygen tank was filled. She hired her own personal security, because she does not trust the courthouse guards to protect her.
She also had her husband sworn in so that she could ask him under oath if he had completed his chores at home. Judge Elizabeth gets around the court on a motorized scooter. Hot slut!

http://www.dlisted.com/node/25869

This story reminded me of my cousin, Alyssa, who just got grounded for 2 weeks for lying about vacuuming. Yes, vacuuming. It sounds a bit harsh but I don't know if this is like the 8th time she's lied about vacuuming or something. Either way, it's kind of hot that she lied about her chores! I probably used to do it all the time!

Hot "How To" of the Day/ Awesome People of the Day

I came across this video last night while browsing Defamer, then clicking on a link to one of their contributers. Molly McAleer is hilarious and biting in that way that I have always loved to see other women be...This video has many great ideas for how to 'get' a husband and reminds me of the days in high school when my best friend Dawn and I used to dream of marrying Truck Drivers so that they would never be around. Also, they would probably be pretty hard core and manly if they drove trucks, provided they were not meth users. That's just gross.
"I lost ME to Meth..."

Click here to see Molly's blog: http://molls.vox.com/

Duran Duran Concert at Nokia!!!

My awesome and sweet boyfriend took me to Duran Duran for an early birthday present. Top 5 concert for sure. 4th row...

I am a horrible 'videographer' but it's a hot song so shut up.

Song Of The Day

The Party, "FREE"

Oh my effing Hell. Damon Pampolina was such a hot piece!!! Damon Forever!!

I used to rock out to this shit in like 6th grade.