My New Favorite Blog- "Hello Loca"

This chick's blog is friggin amazing. Her advice is amazing. Check her out.

http://mskrazie.tumblr.com/

Club Foxy!!!

Because I find snarky comments and poor spelling to be an amazing combination I am a HUGE fan of Nik Richie's site, www.thedirty.com. That shit is hilarious. Once you become part of the "Dirty Army" (a daily visitor/ reader of the site) you start to figure out who is lying and who really, truly has the dirt on some slutty girl or douchey boy.

ANYWAYS, I recently saw some dude call a girl out for having been a prostitute at this place, Club Foxy, in Guam. Apparently the girl who was put "on blast" tries to convince everyone in her hometown that she is a good girl but this dude had pics of this chick working sticks at CF.

This place is AWESOME! They will fly you in, give you a place to stay and you only have to have sex with strangers! They will even help you save your ho money if you aren't really good with your own finances.

Seriously though, this place looks nasty and it looks like all you end up doing is exchanging sex for money from old divorced dudes who are going through some kind of midlife crisis. I picture 18- early 20's chicks squeezing their eyes shut to get through their first time being a hooker. DEPRESSING.

CHECK OUT THEIR WEBSITE:

http://www.clubfoxy.us/index.html

One of the Reasons I am Glad I Don't Live in LA anymore

Sometimes I think I miss L.A.

I think about my favorite places to eat, drink, party, walk my dog...but then I think to myself, "Dude. You know what? You don't have to pretend you give a flying fuck about Nikki Finke and "Deadline Hollywood Daily" (website that everyone in Hollywood jerks it to every single day, multiple times a day). Do you know how awesome that is??

It's awesome.

Shower Scrubs are Rough!

My mom said I should use a sugar scrub. Like, straight up sugar from the kitchen. Lemme tell you something...I scrubbed too hard and that shit hurts. Go easy on yer face if you wanna try this too. All in all? It totally works tho.

"16 and Pregnant" - Jordan

My favorite thing about this episode is how they keep talking about how they were "models" at some point, not that long ago. Really? REALLY? Hmmm. I don't think your grandma feeling bad for you because your mom dumped you on her 7 years ago and then putting your John Robert Powers/ Barbizon classes (at $1000 a pop, PER girl) on her credit card, and paying photographers that those schools force you to "shoot" with and then also paying for your trip to IMTA (soooo exclusive!) at about $2500 a pop proves that you are/ were 'models' but whatever. Clearly they have bigger problems.Jordan's boyfriend appears, at first, to not be that big of an asshole...but just look at how he treats Jordan's twin sister!! He's so effing rude to her! Jordan and her sister are basically the same person in that creepy way that twins are. So he should be a lot nicer to her. Also, he is living rent free in the grandma's house so he really needs to shut it. I also thought it was REALLY sweet of him to be a big baby on their infant, Noah's, first night home. Jordan is trying anything she can to get their baby to sleep after it keeps waking up every 15 minutes. At one point she is trying to kind of lull Noah back to sleep by rocking him and Ryan goes, "Do you know you're shaking the whole bed?" Whoa, dude. I'm SO sorry for you!! Sleep on the fucking COUCH then, you douche hat! Jesus!!

These people prove themselves to be incredibly thick skulled by listening to the baby SCREAM and SHRIEK for six. weeks. straight. Finally they decide to take Noah to the doctor. Thanks, parents. He only had severe acid reflux and was in pain for those entire six weeks of his poor little life.

Also, why can't Jordan just let her sister change the baby's diaper? What is the big deal? She makes some claim about how she has to learn to do it first (really? who doesn't know how to change a diaper or at least figure it out by diaper 2 or 3?) and hurts her sister's feelings. This family is basically useless.

Noah will probably grow up to be a boring person in a boring town surrounded by a boring family. Just like his mommy and daddy. Life is sad.

Good Luck, Noah!