Song of the Day!

YELLE

"A CAUSE DES GARCONS" TEPR Remix

My Family Is So Loud...but we have fun...

Dudes are Disgusting Animals...But Whatever...

Okay, please don't think I just have dick on the brain BUT check out this hilarious review of the "Fleshlight". Its a sex toy for dudes. (Obviously)


Fleshlight is AmazingRating:
Submitted 2008-10-28By 29 from USA
I'm a little bigger than average and sex toys are usually either too shallow or too tight but the Fleshlight never disappoints as it's 8 inches deep. I like to put it between my mattress and box spring (wrap a towel around it to make sure the case doesn't break) and bang it. I have ridiculous orgasms with my Fleshlight.

Holy Shit! Dude, relax. And try to get a 'real' girlfriend!

Failblog...I love you.

Fuck YOU, Time Warner Cable

I am home, it is cold outside and all I want to do is sit around and watch my shows (Bad Girls Club season 2, Made, True Hollywood Story, anything on the soap channels) and the fucking cable keeps sketching out! I should seriously not have to pay for an entire day of interrupted QUALITY television! This is bullshit!

Thank God for Florida!

It brings us stories like this:

(Miami, FL) This chick, Meagan McCormick (22) wanted to win back some ex-boyfriend of hers so she invented a story about a having a baby that was his. Apparently, the "fact" that he had fathered a child with her wasn't enough to get him to come around so she stepped it up a notch. She told him that "their" 5 month old son had been kidnapped. On Christmas day she went on TV in Florida and pleaded for the return of their child. The ex choked back tears as he said "I don't understand. It's Christmas." All this is well and a good enough trashtastic story. However, the BEST part of the story is Meagan's description of her missing baby. She described him as having a mohawk, a single tooth and a fake tattoo. Yes, all on a 5 month old baby. This is one bitchin baby. Also she said that she had last seen the baby when she left him with her "nanny" (ahem...hahah) named Camille, who had a french accent and a gap between her teeth.

If this bitch is convicted then she will have to pay the authorities back for the cost of their false search. Amazing. I assume there is also not much hope left in getting back her ex. What a dumb bitch.

Ah...Love...

I'm watching Family Court with Judge Perry and this wife is suing her husband for not helping her cook more. His defense is that he makes "good ramen noodles" and tried to prove he is a great husband because one time he blindfolded her took her to the Houston mall, walked her up to the food court and told her she could have "whatever she wanted". This shit was amazing.

How Do You Tell Them Apart?

Did anyone else ever have trouble telling these bitches apart? You've got Meredith Salenger, Justine Bateman and Daphne Zuniga and they look like some weird combination of 80s triplets!
I need to take moment here to say "thank you" to my grandma who put up with me renting Meredith's "The Journey of Natty Gann" every weekend during grade school. That shit was so fucking hot. When that gross dude tries to cop a feel on Natty, her sweet wolf dog busts thru the glass window of the truck and bites his ass! It also stars John Cusak so its totally awesome.

Quote of the Day!

"Oh My God. This fucking pump is broken! My hands are bleeding. Im like JESUS!! My car smells like asshole! I'm like Mike Douglas in FALLING DOWN today. I'm really gonna snap!!"

-to remain annoymous. However, it reminded me so much of my own mother that I had to use this quote.

Song of the Day!

Thanks BDEY for introducing me to the hottest Christmas song ever. It's your song of the day, people.

Sufjan Stevens

"Put The Lights On The Tree"

Do you want to feel kind of uncomfortable but also laugh but then feel bad about yourself?

Then watch this shit! It's awesome! I never watched the video when the song came out even though its old as Hell. Its pretty good jerk off material if you are kinda hard up (ahem). And get me this casting director's phone number! Normally I find that casting directors cant hire hot chicks for shit but they got it right here. Must've been a dude CD.